A Parable of Cat-pitalisim, Part IV

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Sunday had come and gone.  Today was the day of fate.  Today was Monday.

The man walked to work in the morning darkness.  The man walked alone.  He thought about what his coworker had said, what the street woman had said, and what his wife had said.

He passed a homeless man on the street.  He knew that a sane man would not throw away everything he had in this job.  Really, stabbing kittens as they came down the conveyor belt was an opportunity.  Many had no jobs at all.

But he could not shake the feeling that stabbing kittens was wrong.  It was his conscience that he could not escape.  And so he resolved that he would ask the owner to explain what the purpose of their work was. Continue reading

Dear Cora: Letters for April 30, 2014

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Dear Cora,

My boyfriend Louis loves to go out with me at night, but he won’t come and do anything with me and my friends during the daytime. I dunno… it’s like I look at the two of us in the mirror in five years, and I can’t see him at all. It’s like he doesn’t have any stake in the relationship. What should I do about it?

Sincerely,
Anne Continue reading

The Nine Creatures You Do NOT Want To Take to Prom!

I have heard much of late from young associates of mine that the season has arrived during which they promenade through their scholarly institutions, dressed in rather formal attire, for their parents and other members of the community. However, I have also heard such distressing news about their ideal companions for these evenings of pomp. To wit, I have compiled a short list of those entities which young people should shun at this time of frivolity.

 

1. The Vampire

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Let’s get the obvious one out first. Vampires have been very popular as the most-desired folkloric creature, thanks to more modern adaptations. However, Anne Rice, Stephanie Meyer, all those others are full of “crap,” as it is said in the parlance of our times. These monsters aren’t handsome, nor do they wear copious amounts of glitter body spray. They’re nasty, pasty, and all hands and teeth once they get you alone. It’s better to let sleeping bats lie.

Continue reading