Dear Cora,
I’ve been missing for about three years now, and I’m becoming really attracted to one of my captors. Is what I’m feeling Stockholm Syndrome or something more?
Thanks,
Down in a Hole
Dear Down,
Without more details, it’s hard for me to say definitely, but I think this is likely Stockholm Syndrome. Can you think of any reasons why you are attracted to this particular abductor? Do you think you would have felt this level of attraction for him/her before you were abducted if you had, say, met on the street or in a bar? You should never like someone solely because they are nice to you, regardless of whether you are a hostage or not. You should also look at how s/he treats other people. Was anyone abducted with you? How do they feel about this particular abductor?
It’s important for you to figure out the answers to these questions. It is also in your best interest to get away from your abductors. I’m sure there are many people miss you and would appreciate knowing that you are safe. If you are literally down a hole, you should find some way to come back to the surface. It seems like your love interest might be the least of your problems right now.
Dear Cora,
I’ve been dating a guy for a while, and I found out he’s a lawyer for a multinational gas and oil conglomerate. Should I break up with him on principle or stick with it in hopes of learning more?
Sincerely,
K. Marx
Dear K,
What a tricky situation! While I want to say, “you should dump him on principle,” I also realize what a helpful situation this could be for your cause. Think of the insider information you could get! At the same time, is it possible that he is simply using you as well? Does he know about your philosophical views or political ties? Is he more interested in your politics than your personal life? If so, you should consider leaving him before it’s too late.
Dear Cora,
There’s a woman at work who has shown feelings for me and has asked me out several times. I like her, but I’m afraid that if we end up going back to her place, she’s going to ask me to take off my human skin and reveal my scaly, reptilian hide. I’ve never been with anyone before. What should I do?
Thanks for everything,
Larry
Dear Larry,
Don’t jump too far too soon! If she’s a respectable woman, you have at least three dates before you need to worry about taking off your human skin. Are you certain she knows about your reptilian side? If she does, and she’s still asked you out several times, I doubt she will be scared away. If she doesn’t, you will have to be honest with her eventually. If the situation looks promising, you should go for it, but don’t be dishonest about who you are. How can she love you if you don’t love yourself?
CORA L. V. SCOTT is an author and lecturer from upstate New York. Her interests include esoteric elocution and pantheistic spiritualism.
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