As huge Beyonce fans here at Illuminaughty Boutique, we were initially looking into putting together a piece on the influence of the Illuminati and the occult on Queen Bey’s work.
So we started thinking… what do we love as much as Beyonce? Puppies and kittens!
And you know, there’s a certain kind of rivalry there– and adorable rivalry to override our brains in order to dominate our hearts. Seriously, if you find a person who doesn’t immediately devolve into a cooing, awwwwwww-ing mess when they see a puppy or a kitten, they’re probably a reptilian themselves.
But as an oligarchic scheme reaches its conclusion, alliances shift and collapse as players grasp for ultimate power. Think of Caesar, Pompey, and Crassus. Think later of Octavian, Lepidus, and Mark Antony. Think later still of Kelly Rowland, Michelle Williams, and… well, Beyonce. In the end, there can only be one.
So who is it? Puppies or Kittens?
Work in packs.
Grow into fearsome combat machines.
Absolutely ruthless killers.
We adore puppies, but they’re just not leadership material. They take orders too well. They’re too loyal. Plus they yip, yap, and howl– that’s no way to keep a conspiracy secret until the time is right to strike. Kittens possess an innate cruelty– have you seen what the kitten has been doing to that catnip mouse? They are content lurking in the shadows (or basking in the sunlight on the window sill) until their time has come, and then they will rule us all.
ADAM WEISHAUPT is a Professor of Law at the University of Ingolstadt. His hobbies include rationalism, masonry, and opposition to Kantian idealism.