You’ve been to the gym to work on your bikini body. You’ve found the cutest swimsuit ever. Now you’re ready for some hot summer sun and fun at the beach! But why not try something 1000 times hotter?
Sitting around with your friends, feeling the spray in your face– you don’t even need to go to the beach, just head to UC Davis. Also, with skyrocketing tuition, you can’t afford to go to the beach.
Or roll on down the coast to San Diego’s Occupy protest. Open wide– flavor’s coming through! Blistering, blistering flavor.
Protesters at a meeting of the American Legislative Exchange Council get some pep(per) in their step. And even though the meeting paired up conservative legislators, the police were just giving away the pepper spray for free– what a steal!
Of course, if you’re Occupy Portland protester Liz Nichols, the city might still be coming after you for about $7,000 in court costs after you appeal for pain and suffering. Apparently pepper spray is the blast that you deserve, says a jury.
Here’s a picture from Occupy Wall Street. What a scream!
Maybe you’re thinking of venturing outside the United States. Where hotter than Brazil? Say… during protests surrounding the World Cup?
In Communist China, protest visit you! Instead of having to travel somewhere else to get a taste of spray-cation, party leader Hu Jintao visited the people of Hong Kong, up close and personally.
Voulez-vous pleurez avec moi ce soir? Useful phrases to know if you’re going to be joining in a student protest in Montreal. Just a few doses of pepper spray and you’ll be dying to show everyone your “eau” face. J’ai besoin d’eau, maintenant.
Pepper spray brings people together. See here socialists and trade unionists being sprayed in austerity protests in Greece…
…and here Catholic anti-gay-marriage protesters in Paris. Left and right, everybody burns!
If you’re a Palestinian, opportunities for pepper spray are all over the place. In fact, you’re going to have to work pretty hard not to be pepper sprayed at some point.
So a word of caution– if you’re out there marching for Land Day or Nakba Day, go easy on it. A light glow of pepper spray is nice, but too much makes you look orange.
[We were unable to find an image of Israeli settlers being pepper sprayed. If you find one, let us know!]
Whether in the United States or abroad, we guarantee that pepper spray is the hot fashion for this summer. This woman in Gezi Park– don’t you love her hair?
ADAM WEISHAUPT is a Professor of Law at the University of Ingolstadt. His hobbies include rationalism, masonry, and opposition to Kantian idealism.