Dear Cora: Letters for April 30, 2014

black heart

Dear Cora,

My boyfriend Louis loves to go out with me at night, but he won’t come and do anything with me and my friends during the daytime. I dunno… it’s like I look at the two of us in the mirror in five years, and I can’t see him at all. It’s like he doesn’t have any stake in the relationship. What should I do about it?

Sincerely,
Anne

 

Dear Anne,

Louis’s refusal to spend time with you are your friends during the day is a huge red flag, unless he’s a vampire (which would explain the whole mirror thing, let’s be honest). If he is a vampire, you should not be alarmed about this behavior, but you should reflect on whether or not you want to be in a relationship with a vampire. If he’s not a vampire, you’ve already answered the most important question: if you can’t see yourself with him in the future, why stay with him now? Mirrors and stakes aside, you need to decide if his behavior is enough to bury this relationship in the ground forever.

I hope you don’t eat too much garlic,
Cora

 

black heart

Dear Cora,

A woman I talked to on the street said she wouldn’t sleep with me unless I were the last man on earth, which got me to thinking. I am a genetic microbiologist working with the CDC and might be able to make that happen. Would it be ethical—hypothetically—to cheat on her with scores of other women in order to repopulate the globe? Like, what if the other women were cool with it?

Yours,
Stephen

 

Dear Stephen,

Ethics aside, your question doesn’t make a lot of sense. You would have to get rid of all the other men on earth, so creating lots of new women through genetics isn’t going to get her to sleep with you. It would just give you a weird sense of revenge. You also wouldn’t really be cheating on her because it doesn’t sound like you actually have any sort of relationship with her. All that being said, this doesn’t sound like an ethical hypothetical situation at all, no matter how one looks at it.

Best,
Cora

 

black heart

Dear Cora,

My professor keeps talking about “electronic submission,” and it’s kind of turning me on. Is this like a new kink?

With love,
Lyle

 

Dear Lyle,

Welcome to the 21st century, in which work and assignments are submitted (turned in, not on) electronically (via the Internet). This is only a new kink if you make it one.

Please don’t make it one.

Always,
Cora

 


cora

CORA L. V. SCOTT is an author and lecturer from upstate New York. Her interests include esoteric elocution and pantheistic spiritualism.

Have a question for Cora? You can e-mail her here.

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