Readership Report, May 2014

A quick update on our outreach efforts and readership as of May 2014:

Top Five Countries of Readership

1. United States
2. United Kingdom
3. Canada
4. Netherlands
5. Germany

Kyz Kuu: The Game You’re Not Playing with Your Lover (But Should Be!)

Looking for a way to spice up your love life?  Or maybe you’re just trying to get that first kiss from that special someone?  Forget OkCupid and eHarmony– in Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, and Azerbaijan, horses are where it’s at!

Top 20 Pick-up Lines for Conspiracy Theorists

Special thanks to this blog post, this comic, and viewers like you.

20. I thought the weather was being controlled by HAARP, but that was just the angels singing your name.

19. Are you affiliated with the Illuminati?  Because you light up my life.

18. Wanna know my favorite part of your body? The microchip implanted by the government.

17. The end isn’t the only thing that’s coming.

Dear Cora: Letters for May 28, 2014

Dear Cora,

I don’t think of myself as an especially “sexual” person, but I’ve been sculpting a statue of a woman for quite some time out of a block of ivory and I think I’m starting to fall for her. I want to make sure that I’m not objectifying her, though. How can I make sure to be the “nice guy” I want to be?

Φιλιά,
“Piggy”

Seven Creepy Places To Visit This Summer

Dear readers,

Things have finally begun winding down here at the university following another year of studies. However, several of those younger students who have yet to taste what summers are like for real adults — i.e. having actual occupations during the summer — have been inquiring as to places they might explore while they are on sabbatical this summer. Here is a short listing of places I seem to recommend every year.

 

7. A Sarlacc’s Digestive System

This is a trip I usually reserve recommendation until a student has completed all doctoral degree requirements save his or her dissertation. It makes the perfect place to take in the sites and spend countless hours fretting over whether or not their paper is ready for defense.

Ten Good Reasons to Objectify Women

Review: The “Hornithopter,” by da Vinci

$1,399.95

Today I’ll be reviewing the Hornithopter, by da Vinci. And I’ll tell you up front, I wasn’t impressed.  You were supposed to do two things, Hornithopter.  Two things.

The Hornithopter is advertised as a combination personal transportation device and sex toy.  Let’s examine the inherent contradiction there.  Traveling is a public thing; sex is… well, I don’t mean to be a prude, but I like to be a little more discreet about those sorts of pleasures.  So off the bat we’re looking at issues.

Do You Have… IT?

Everyone wants it.  Everyone is searching for it.  Some go their whole lives without it, but you might have it and not even know.

So what is… it?

Six Celebrities We’d Love To See in Neon!

If you’ve been anywhere within a three-quarter-mile radius of fashion recently, you’ve seen neon colors.  And we love it!  Somehow it feels fresher, more vibrant than just a rehashed version of the ’80s.  I think we’ve got a handle on neon dos and don’ts this time around.  Just check out these ladies!

Our favorite celebrities are wearing neon.  We love that tasteful neon orange jacket Kim Kardashian is wearing in this photo.  J. Lo?  It’s a gutsy chartreuse number with neon pink heels.  So hot!  And Katy Perry is bookending that pink power with matching neon blue skirt and hair.

Dear Cora: Letters for May 21, 2014

Dear Cora,

I believe that Nicki Minaj may in fact be a space alien, because… well, basically everything about her. Do you think there’s a race of Minajlings out somewhere beyond the stars that might go for a guy like me? I’ve kind of given up hope on earthlings.

Love,
Pat