JINGLE HELLS: 5 Reasons Santa Is One of THEM


I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus.  Since then, the black helicopters have been everywhere.  I don’t have much time, so I wanted to share with you what I’ve gathered thus far.

1. Santa isn’t an “inside job” hoax – he’s real. Real evil. But the evil is covered up by parents (who may also be working for Them).

2. “Santa” is an anagram for “Satan.” (And it’s clear that Satan is 100% one of Them).

3. Even Cass Sunstein, a Harvard Law professor, believes Santa Claus is a conspiracy theory that parents push on their ignorant children. (Is ignorance bliss?!)

4. There’s no way a man that big can get around the world so quickly. And with “reindeer” – unless he’s working for THEM. Sorry, NORAD. (By “reindeer” I mean the helicopters you think you see in the night sky.)

5. The elves do all the dirty work. They cover up Santa’s path so no one ever knows he’s been here. If you do have a rare moment where you think you’ve seen him… well, “You better watch out, you better not cry…” You know the rest.

I’d share more, but I’ve got to change locations soon to keep myself concealed.  Good night and good luck.

Oh, and watch out for Christmas in July.



SAMUEL LIDDELL MacGREGOR MATHERS is a founding member of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn.  A committed vegan, he lives in London (?), where he spends his time working on translations and playing chess.

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