Fifteen HILARIOUS Ways You’ll React to the Next Highly Addictive Drug Craze!

1. When your future dealer tricks you into taking your first hit.

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2. As you try to avoid the cops while waiting on your dealer to get that next precious hit.

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3. When you get jumped by your first tweeker who tries to steal your newly-purchased supply.

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4. When you tell your family to go away because you’re coming down off a high.

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5. As you slip deeper and deeper into your addiction.

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6. The first time you’re threatened after mouthing off to the wrong person in the dealing chain.

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7. When you family surprises you with an intervention and you tell them off.

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8. When you try to get up and walk out of the intervention.

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9. When you start giving hand jobs to pay for your habit.

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10. When you finally achieve full-on tweeker status.

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11. When you discover the undercover cop who has been staking out your dealer’s area.

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12. When you and the cop start fighting for the gun.

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13. When you bitch-slap your dealer as the two of you flip out over the dead cop.

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14. When you run, leaving him to take the blame with the other cops.

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15. When you get home safe and sound, shoot up to relieve all the stress of cop-killing, overdose, and die ignominiously falling down the stairs.

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thatcher

THOMAS ANTHONY THACHER is a professor of classics and administrative official at Yale and a high priest of Wadjet-Bast. While not deciphering ancient Greek, Latin, Egyptian and Coptic texts, he can be found at home, tending and breeding his Egyptian Mau cats.

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