Thank Goddess it’s Friday the Thirteenth– and a Friday the Thirteenth with a full moon, nonetheless! While kicking back tonight and watching The Craft for the umpteenth time is certainly not a bad plan, there’s all sorts of magick you could be working yourself tonight. We’ve compiled a list of thirteen of our favorite techniques for divination. Check ’em out!
Gyromancy involves laying out letters or symbols on the ground, then spinning in a circle until dizzy (with or without putting your forehead on a baseball bat). Whichever direction you stumble… that means something! The down-side, of course, is all the physical activity involved, plus the fact that the magical act itself may make you puke.
This magical art form involves gutting a fish and then picking through its guts to discern the future. Sound gross to you? Us too. But reading the auspices (i.e. guts) of animals is a pretty time-tested method of divination… you may even remember it from Julius Caesar.
The casting of bones onto the ground and then making a prediction about the future. Less gross than guts, but still… bones. A less gross version is belomancy, which involves dropping arrows or sticks on the ground to accomplish the same effect.
By using a dowsing rod, you divine the location of things– usually gold, water, etc. Laugh if you want, but plenty of people in rural areas still do this when digging wells. While it still may be in use, wandering around with a dowsing rod kind of has a hillbilly feel to it.
If you were hoping for big explosions, look elsewhere. Pyromancy involves staring into flames and trying to learn from them. We don’t want to sound like queers, but we think fire is very romantic.
This is the actual name for palm-reading. Study up on this and you’ll be a popular attraction at fairs!
Another old standby, this is the official name for fortune-telling using cards, such as tarot cards.
The reading of omens by watching clouds. If you see a dog, that could be a good thing. A dolphin? Even better. If you see a rapidly-approaching funnel, it means that God is trying to kill you and you need to get into a basement or other low-lying area.
This is the reading of tea leaves in the bottom of a cup. Not only can you tell the future, but you can relive the past right along with all the members of the Downton Abbey cast.
Rhapsodomancy involves seeking advice by randomly picking a verse from a poem. It is much like its cousins bibliomancy and stichomancy, which involve randomly pointing at words in books, such as the Bible.
Ceromancy is the dropping of hot wax into water, and then interpreting the shapes created by it. It’s our second-favorite use of hot wax!
Divination by interpreting the actions of cats. Face it– this was probably going to be a big part of your Friday night anyway, so you might as well learn to tell the future with it!
You got it– divination using wine! We’re not really sure how this works, but… it involves wine, and it’s Friday. You earned it!
ADAM WEISHAUPT is a Professor of Law at the University of Ingolstadt. His hobbies include rationalism, masonry, and opposition to Kantian idealism.