Dear Mr. Wales,
We at Illuminaughty Boutique would first like to thank you for over a decade of leadership of the forces of good on the Internet. Where would we be without Wikipedia? Our guess is quite a bit dumber, albeit perhaps a bit better rested. There’s no better time to read up on Tuvan throat-singing than 3:45 a.m. on a Wednesday.It is with that great esteem in mind that we write to you today.
We need you to save the Internet.
As you are likely already aware, a major breach of Apple’s iCloud has resulted in the violation of privacy of over 100 celebrities, including most notably Jennifer Lawrence. Whether this was perpetrated by the 4chan trolls or merely celebrated by them, we have to do something. Because this isn’t J-Law’s fault, and she shouldn’t be blamed for it.
It has been argued recently that when a monkey takes a selfie, it belongs to all of us, as a monkey is not a legal person and is therefore incapable of holding copyright. Other selfies would, by Geneva Copyright Convention, fall under the immediate copyright of the author of the work. But we believe that copyright is a shitty way to protect privacy, and that our culture has a bunch of problems with women that can’t be solved merely by quibbling over who has the rights to what.
Additionally, what constitutes fair use of a purloined selfie? The mind recoils.
What we need to do is work as a culture to decrease the stigma around nude photos. And this is where we believe that you are uniquely postured to make a difference. By releasing a set of nude selfies– even just one really good one, we’re not picky– into the public domain, you can show that a respected and intelligent person can also be awkwardly naked on camera, and it’s no big deal.
Information wants to be free (balling). We know we can count on you.
I beg to remain, Sir, your most humble and obedient servant,
P.S. If you wanted to team up with Lawrence Lessig and do like a tag-team bit, that’d be cool too. Just sayin’.