NSFW Research Grant Proposals Due October 6, 2014

nsfw foundation

 

NSFW Grant Proposal Due Date Clarification

The NSFW proposal deadline date for Fall 2014 is October 6, 2014. All future years thereafter, the proposal deadline date will be September 15. If September 15 falls on a holiday or weekend, the proposal deadline date will be the first business day that occurs after that.

 

PROGRAM GUIDELINES

Solicitation 69-666

 

DUE DATES

Full Proposal Deadline Date: October 6, 2014
Full Proposal Deadline Date: September 15, 2015
September 15, Annually Thereafter

 

SYNOPSIS

This funding partnership between the National Science Foundation of the World (NSFW) and the Noticeably Endowed Hunks (NEH) supports projects to develop and advance knowledge concerning an abundance of NSFW topics. Made urgent by the imminent death of roughly half of the approximately 7000 currently used perversions, this effort aims to exploit advances in information technology to build computational infrastructure for cataloguing the insane and the icky. The program supports projects that contribute to data management and archiving, and to the development of the next generation of incorrigible perverts. Funding can support sex work and other activities relevant to the digital recording, documenting, and archiving of endangered perversions, including the preparation of lubes, sex toys, sex samples, and databases. Funding will be available in the form of one- to three-year senior research grants as well as fellowships for up to twelve months and doctoral dissertation research improvement grants for up to 24 months.

 

EDUCATIONAL OPPORTUNITY

This program provides educational opportunities for Undergraduate Students, Graduate Students, Postdoctoral Fellows, Werewolves, Wererats, Wereturtles, Vampires, Deep Ones, Elder Things, Crack Whores, Freemasons, Sasquatches, and members of the Bavarian Illuminati. Individuals interested in applying for funding should see the program guidelines above.

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The Terrible World of Panda Drug Addiction EXPOSED!

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As adorable as it may seem at first, this is the face of addiction.  Panda addiction to zhu.

 

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Pandas all over the world are getting hooked on zhu. And it’s a lifestyle that is is killing them.

 

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Zhu is also known by the street names of big grass, bamboo, and Chinese wood.

 

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Many claim that they are only social users of zhu, that they only do it for fun.

 

Giant panda in tree, Wolong Panda Reserve, Sichuan Province, China

Stories float around amongst members of the “in” community of zhu users about all the good times to be had under the influence.

 

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But these stories never dip into the darker side of zhu.  What starts as fun can lead to a sixteen-hour-a-day habit.

 

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After consuming zhu, many pandas become lethargic and lie around on the ground all day.

 

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Others become disoriented and suffer from hallucinations and giggling fits.

 

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Still others become irritable and easily angered.

 

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As dangerous as these individuals can be under the influence…

 

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…deprive them of zhu and they can become combative, even to the point of attacking law enforcement.

 

drug-panda-1Worse yet, long-term use can lead to a cycle of addiction.  Even children in the panda community become victims, and later train their own children to use zhu.

 

drug-panda-7It is important that we spread awareness of the dangers of zhu, both in the human and panda communities.  Prevention saves lives!

 


My name is Adam, and I want you to be my Eve.

ADAM WEISHAUPT is a Professor of Law at the University of Ingolstadt.  His hobbies include rationalism, masonry, and opposition to Kantian idealism.