eFertility Profile: Epona

eFertility epona masterhead

Personal Statement

My name is Epona, and I’m a horse nut :-). I raise several different varieties and train them for various equestrian competitions.

Age

Roughly 2,500. I’m the baby of my pantheon. Continue reading

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Twelve Hilarious Ways You Would React If We Would Have Implemented PROJECT SIENNA

prison-sienna

Dear Readers,

Today, I wish to divulge two closely guarded secrets.  The first of these is an obsession with the Netflix series “Orange is the New Black,” which was recommended to me by one of the lovely professors in the criminology department during a short-lived courtship last year. Secondly, I have been working with my esteemed editor, Professor Weishaupt, on a committee about how best we can keep you, dear readers, apprised of our machinations, one of which I am most lucky and please to present to you today– Project Sienna. Continue reading

Seven Creepy Places To Visit This Summer

asylum

Dear readers,

Things have finally begun winding down here at the university following another year of studies. However, several of those younger students who have yet to taste what summers are like for real adults — i.e. having actual occupations during the summer — have been inquiring as to places they might explore while they are on sabbatical this summer. Here is a short listing of places I seem to recommend every year.

 

7. A Sarlacc’s Digestive System

sarlacc

This is a trip I usually reserve recommendation until a student has completed all doctoral degree requirements save his or her dissertation. It makes the perfect place to take in the sites and spend countless hours fretting over whether or not their paper is ready for defense. Continue reading

Ten Entities Your Children Can Summon on Boring, Rainy Days

summoningcircle

Dear readers,

I have been approached by some of my colleagues and temple adherents as to ways they can keep their children engaged on rainy days when outdoor activities are limited while also providing an effect introduction to the occult. Well, one of the easiest options is summoning rituals. Most only require things already possessed in most households: salt, candles, dark-magic grimoires and a little dash of blood. Most are also composed of simple chants easily ingrained through rote recitations before the rituals are attempted. The only truly difficult aspect is crafting the elaborate circles for a few of those listed below, but that will take up more time, build a sense of suspense and teach your progeny the importance of patience.

 

10. Ouija Board

This one would have ranked higher on the list, but it takes some forethought to have such a board on hand. However, if you do, it’s simple enough to make use of. Turn out the lights, ignite a candle and be prepared to have your questions answered. Continue reading

eFertility Profile: Bastet

eFertility bastet masthead

Personal Statement

Hi, I’m Bastet, but some of my followers call me The Lady of Fire or She of the Ointment Jar. I am looking for followers and priests who are into a wide variety of things, ranging from felines to perfume, from light to children. But don’t worry — I’m not baby crazy. Continue reading