Top 20 Pick-up Lines for Conspiracy Theorists

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Special thanks to this blog post, this comic, and viewers like you.

20. I thought the weather was being controlled by HAARP, but that was just the angels singing your name.

19. Are you affiliated with the Illuminati?  Because you light up my life.

18. Wanna know my favorite part of your body? The microchip implanted by the government.

17. The end isn’t the only thing that’s coming. Continue reading

Dear Cora: Letters for May 21, 2014

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Dear Cora,

I believe that Nicki Minaj may in fact be a space alien, because… well, basically everything about her. Do you think there’s a race of Minajlings out somewhere beyond the stars that might go for a guy like me? I’ve kind of given up hope on earthlings.

Love,
Pat Continue reading

Probing: Keeping It Safe, Keeping It Fun

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Maybe your alien abductor has brought it up in conversation.  Maybe you’ve been curious about it yourself, but too nervous to ask anyone.  Never fear! We’ve decided to insert ourselves into the conversation surrounding probing to clear up some rumors and share some tips on what can be a scary (but ultimately fulfilling) procedure. Continue reading