Ten Entities Your Children Can Summon on Boring, Rainy Days

Dear readers,

I have been approached by some of my colleagues and temple adherents as to ways they can keep their children engaged on rainy days when outdoor activities are limited while also providing an effect introduction to the occult. Well, one of the easiest options is summoning rituals. Most only require things already possessed in most households: salt, candles, dark-magic grimoires and a little dash of blood. Most are also composed of simple chants easily ingrained through rote recitations before the rituals are attempted. The only truly difficult aspect is crafting the elaborate circles for a few of those listed below, but that will take up more time, build a sense of suspense and teach your progeny the importance of patience.

 

10. Ouija Board

This one would have ranked higher on the list, but it takes some forethought to have such a board on hand. However, if you do, it’s simple enough to make use of. Turn out the lights, ignite a candle and be prepared to have your questions answered.

Ten Ways To Keep Your Children Safe from Indoctrination in Public Schools

Public school.  You know it’s a place full of bad influences: drugs, queers, evolution.  And yet you are a hard-working parent doing your best to get by– home schooling is expensive even without factoring in your lost income!  It’s just not a possibility for everyone.  Because of that, we’ve put together a list of ten things you can do as a concerned parent to make sure your little love-sponge isn’t going to soak up all the horror that is public school.

236 Words Only Literate People Will Understand

Chances are if you’re reading this post, you’re a literate person– and in English, moreover.  Otherwise this text would look sort of like լիզում իմ ոտք ունեցող մարդ.  But how did you get that way?  What sets you apart from the throng of people who just don’t understand the symbolic interpretation of glyphs on a page?