BREAKING: Maine Secedes from New England!

maine independent

AUGUSTA – On Wednesday morning, in a show of solidarity with the Scottish people, Maine Governor Paul LePage announced to reporters outside the statehouse Maine’s own bid for independence. “It is with great pride that we can finally stick it to the tax-and-spend loonies in Washington, and this coming November, have the choice to leave the bloated carcass of the United States, forging our own road as a free and independent Maine,” said the Governor.

Upon news of the upcoming independence referendum, lifelong Maine residents—or “Mainers”—were hopeful and optimistic. “This ah road, ayuh, issah good road now, tha we’re on,” said fifth-generation lobsterman Burt Ames, of Rockport.

Other residents said they support the bid for independence, but are concerned about the long-term viability of such a plan. “Theah’s boun’ ta be a few roadblocks, along the way,” said lumberjack John Bunford of Rumford. “But ah, we got a lot o good folks with good hahts, so I think we can get theah from heah.”

When asked about his plans for the fledging nation, if the referendum passes on November 4, Governor LePage declared that overall, Maine would remain “pretty much the same it was, except one or two things, considering.” When pressed about foreign policy, LePage declined to comment about rumors swirling about a proposed invasion of the neighboring Canadian province of New Brunswick, with the alleged aims of both reforming the defunct Republic of Madawaska, and settling the border dispute over Machias Seal Island and North Rock once-and-for-all.

Is response to the Governor’s announcement, Portland, Maine Mayor Michael Brennan announced the city’s intentions to remain a part of the United States, as an exclave of Massachusetts to be named “North Boston.” This will be first time the two territories have spoken since their bitter breakup in 1821, as a result of the Missouri Compromise.

 


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LAWRENCE JOSHUA CHAMBERLAIN is a proud Mainer.  He is a fan of little round tops and being governor of Maine

Sixteen Buildings with Nipples

dome9

A sweet taste of India! 

 

dome3

Hot Medina!

 

dome12

From Russia with love!

 

dome1

STACKED in Bulgaria!

 

dome6

We’d like to get into this in Indonesia!

 

dome2

Good old American girls.

 

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A golden shot from St. Petersburg!

 

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CENTERFOLD: Sacre Coeur!

 

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Holy wisdom, Batman!

 

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A hottie from across the pond.

 

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These domes rock!

 

dome5

Jesus!

 

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Some action in the Vatican!

 

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Хорошо!

 

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Juicy Scotland!

 

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At the end of the day, we loves us some domes!

 


My name is Adam, and I want you to be my Eve.

ADAM WEISHAUPT is a Professor of Law at the University of Ingolstadt. His hobbies include rationalism, masonry, and opposition to Kantian idealism.

Drunk Texting International, July 6, 2014

us-uk

United States to England

12:56 A.M. UTC−05:00

hey!

 

kiribati-australia

Kiribati to Australia

1:27 a.m. UTC+14:00

global warning gettin me so wet can i come over???

 

brazil-earth

Brazil, re: ALL

2:12 a.m. UTC−03:00

FUTEBOL PARTY AT MINHA CASA LOOK AT MY BALLZ LMÃO

 

russia-ukraine

Russia to Ukraine

2:36 a.m. UTC+04:00

am comin over better lev door unlocked comin in anyway baby 😉

 

us-uk

United States to England

2:39 a.m. UTC−05:00

hey, soo…

 

us-uk

United States to England

2:41 A.M. UTC−05:00

hey, you up

 

us-uk

United States to England

2:45 A.M. UTC−05:00

listen, about what i said 238 years ago, i’m sorry

 

china-south-korea

China to South Korea

3:01 a.m. UTC+08:00

sorry kim was a bitch tonite we can do lunch tomorrow ^___^

 

jordan-israel

Jordan to Israel

3:07 a.m. UTC+03:00

omg neighbors STILL throwin a rager  might need to sleep at your place but like just as friends

 

argentina-england

Argentina to England

3:16 a.m. UTC−03:00

keepin las malvinas u left em here

 

india-england

India to England

3:32 a.m. UTC+05:30

chai in the morning?

 

uk-earth

England, re: ALL

3:34 a.m. UTC±00:00

AM TRYING TO SLEEP BUGGER OFF

 

canada-uk

Canada to England

3:40 a.m. UTC−05:00

sorry

 

south-korea-china

South Korea to China

3:48 a.m. UTC+09:00

lol just got a new phone didn’t see you.  that sounds great! ^____^

 

azerbaijan-armenia

Azerbaijan to Armenia

4:31 a.m. UTC+04:00

grudgə fuck?

 


My name is Adam, and I want you to be my Eve.

ADAM WEISHAUPT is a Professor of Law at the University of Ingolstadt.  His hobbies include rationalism, masonry, and opposition to Kantian idealism.

Readership Report, May 2014

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A quick update on our outreach efforts and readership as of May 2014:

Top Five Countries of Readership

  1. United States
  2. United Kingdom
  3. Canada
  4. Netherlands
  5. Germany

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