Seven Hotties Ranked on the Bristol Scale

 1. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

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Type 1: Separate hard lumps, like nuts (hard to pass).

 

2. Channing Tatum

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Type 2: Sausage-shaped, but lumpy.

 

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Sarah Palin and the Word Salad Diet

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Love her or hate her, you’ve got to admit it– you can’t keep Sarah Palin down!  She’s full of fight and spunk (among other things), and she never misses a chance to pipe up with an opinion.  Don’t you wish you had that kind of energy?  In fact, just this past week she spoke at the NRA convention in Indianapolis:

Come on! Enemies who would utterly annihilate America!  They who’d obviously have information on plots, say to carry out jihad. Oh, but you can’t offend them, can’t make them feel uncomfortable — not even a smidgen. Well, if I were in charge, they would know that waterboarding is how we baptize terrorists.

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Chemtrails and Your Skin EXPOSED! Beauty Secrets Big Makeup and Big Airplane Don’t Want You To Know!

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Chemtrails are widely attested in literature.  And, well, look up in the sky.  They’re everywhere, like a tic-tac-toe grid hovering over us.  Unlike normal contrails, chemtrails persist in the atmosphere because they are formed by a crystalline agent.  We will discuss in this article some of the very real dangers that Big Airplane is trying to hide from us all.  But we won’t stop there.  Because Big Makeup is just as culpable, trying to hide some of the possible benefits of this double-edged sword.

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Top Ten Folk Cures for AIDS

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Since its introduction into Africa by the CIA in the late 1970s, HIV/AIDS has ravaged the continent and beyond, and the people of the world clamor for a cure.  Thankfully, a handful of individuals and entrepreneurs are hard at work to find a cure, if only by trial and error.  In this article, we highlight some of the most notable efforts.

 

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10. Sex with a virgin

Contrary to popular belief, the idea of the restorative powers of virgin-sex are not an invention of “savage Africans” who “lack morals”; the myth likely is a colonial transplant from some of the most moralistic people of all times, the Victorians.  The overall idea is that, to cleanse yourself of your vile infection, you need to wipe yourself off with something clean.  That “something clean” being a person.

Pros:

  • (If consensual): Some good, clean fun.
  • (If with a child): Not technically pederasty, since it’s not based on attraction to children.

Cons:

  • (If non-consensual): This is rape, a crime considered in many societies to be on par with murder.
  • (If with a child): The phrase “not technically pederasty” should never be used to justify anything.  Ever.
  • Does not actually cure AIDS.  In fact, it spreads HIV.  Oh you damned, damned Victorians– how did you dream this up?

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