Top 20 Pick-up Lines for Conspiracy Theorists

cheesy-bar-guy

Special thanks to this blog post, this comic, and viewers like you.

20. I thought the weather was being controlled by HAARP, but that was just the angels singing your name.

19. Are you affiliated with the Illuminati?  Because you light up my life.

18. Wanna know my favorite part of your body? The microchip implanted by the government.

17. The end isn’t the only thing that’s coming. Continue reading

Seven Wonders of World-Class Wasteful Spending

1. The Great Pyramid of Giza

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Yeah, we get it Khufu, you were hot shit in Fourth-Dynasty Egypt, but… maybe you were compensating for something here?  The Pyramid has been able to keep it up for the past few thousand years; we’re not so sure about you, buddy.  Granted, the use of slave labor probably kept costs down, but… we’re not buying it. Continue reading