Ten Good Reasons to Objectify Women

Do You Have… IT?

Everyone wants it.  Everyone is searching for it.  Some go their whole lives without it, but you might have it and not even know.

So what is… it?

Six Celebrities We’d Love To See in Neon!

If you’ve been anywhere within a three-quarter-mile radius of fashion recently, you’ve seen neon colors.  And we love it!  Somehow it feels fresher, more vibrant than just a rehashed version of the ’80s.  I think we’ve got a handle on neon dos and don’ts this time around.  Just check out these ladies!

Our favorite celebrities are wearing neon.  We love that tasteful neon orange jacket Kim Kardashian is wearing in this photo.  J. Lo?  It’s a gutsy chartreuse number with neon pink heels.  So hot!  And Katy Perry is bookending that pink power with matching neon blue skirt and hair.

Plan #7: Successes, Failures, and the Way Forward

We’d like to share some information with our readership based on some recent leaks on our Facebook page.  The cat is out of the proverbial bag, so to speak, so we might as well come clean.  As Skeletor is Love put it so well…

JINGLE HELLS: 5 Reasons Santa Is One of THEM

I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus.  Since then, the black helicopters have been everywhere.  I don’t have much time, so I wanted to share with you what I’ve gathered thus far.

Seven Hotties Ranked on the Bristol Scale

 1. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

Type 1: Separate hard lumps, like nuts (hard to pass).

 

2. Channing Tatum

Type 2: Sausage-shaped, but lumpy.

 

After Yang: Finding Meaning in a Life without Cristina

Oooooh boy.  Deeeeeep breaths.  We don’t know about you, but we’re huge fans of Grey’s Anatomy here at Illuminaughty Boutique, and… last night’s episode was hard.  No spoilers here– we promise!– though we will let you know that Sandra Oh is apparently still alive and well.  It was just really, really emotionally hard.

We all feel vulnerable right now.  After all, we just lost our “person.”  The question now becomes… how do we go on with life?

Benghazi Has Existed for 2500 Years– WHO KNEW WHAT, AND WHEN???

New hearings are in progress to investigate failures in the 2012 attacks on the American Embassy in Benghazi, Libya.  Led by Representative Trey Gowdy (R-SC), these new hearings build off over 50 previous hearings which have cost taxpayers millions of dollars, and yet it seems we’re no closer to an answer.

Yet long before 9/11, clues throughout history have been warning us about the existence of Benghazi, along with a bevy of dangers passed down through the ages.  We present here just a few of them.

Eighteen of the World’s TINIEST Racists

We all know that racists are tiny people.  But just how small can racists get?  Come with us as we explore under the microscope and beyond!

 

18. Racist Midgets

This midget is a proponent of race war.  But only against the blacks.  What an asshole.

Net Neutrality: Content Supply Invoice

As it appears that the FCC is poised to alter its stance on network neutrality to allow Internet service providers to charge a fee to content providers to deliver user traffic to their sites, we have drafted an invoice that may be sent reciprocally to ISPs.  We have also created a downloadable boiler-plate version (Invoice) for any of our readers who are also content providers.  We encourage all letters to be printed out and sent via standard post to Comcast, Time Warner, and any other ISPs who may provide access to your readers and/or viewers.  It reads as follows: