Cut the Shit and Listen to Some Good Shit For Once!

one-direction-poo

Any person worth half their salt doesn’t listen to shitty music; at least not from their perspective. However, to others, some of it is SHIT!!! My point is that there is some really shitty music out there.

One Direction is the latest in a thousand-mile long list of boy bands. The Beatles were a boy band too…BUT THEY PLAYED THEIR OWN GEAR! The problem I have with One Direction is that they’re doing everything they can to control our minds. From the Pepsi commercials they’ve done to all of the ridiculous fan gear. UGH!

Don’t get me wrong, I own my fair share of band shirts, but it’s not like I’ve bought Led Zeppelin pencils and erasers or a Cat Stevens-sponsored burqa for my non-Muslim wife. I’ve seen my fair share of concerts and bought a fair share of concert t-shirts because I listen to a shit-ton of music. My mp3nis is HUGE! (ask your mother, she knows) Seriously, I have over 5k songs and they range from full albums by Metallica, Alison Krauss, the Who as well as Ike and Tina Turner. I have a really wide musical taste and because I play a multitude of instruments, I’ve learned to play a shit-ton of songs; on guitar especially.

Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam) wrote a song called, “Wild World”, which I learned to play a few years ago, and as I listened to this song earlier today, I couldn’t help but try to figure out what the FUCK he meant. Was he trying to tell “baby” that he really didn’t want her to end the relationship? Or was he reacting to the breakup in such a childish fashion that he felt as though he had to degrade “baby” by telling her that her only qualities were the fact that she had nice clothes and she was pretty?

The song was released in ’70, when Yusuf was 22. The woman the song was allegedly written about was 19. This is a sample of the conversation I would have had with him:

Me: “Dude, Cat, sit down with me, buddy. Did you ever sit down to think about the fact that you were a junior in high school before this chick even made it TO high school?! That’s done serious cradle robbing in that era of your existence.”
Cat: “…….”

I can’t really wrap my brain around his, sorry.

The point I’m making is this: regardless of what was going through his brain as he was recovering from TB, he wrote a great lyrical song. By the way, what kind of person leaves a partner when they’re sick/recovering from TB?! That’s shady, lady.

Sorry, I got distracted. Getting back to my original thought process, QUIT LISTENING TO SHITTY MUSIC!!! Expand your mind by listening to non-produced music. Go to wherever you acquire music (even if it’s online) and find the most obscure CD you can find. Seriously, it’s quite rewarding.

 


Robert_Johnson

ROBERT JOHNSON is a singer/songwriter from Hazlehurst, Mississippi.  His interests include liquor, women, and a proclivity for loitering around the crossroads in the dead of night.

Ten Ways To Keep Your Children Safe from Indoctrination in Public Schools

unhelpful-teacher

Public school.  You know it’s a place full of bad influences: drugs, queers, evolution.  And yet you are a hard-working parent doing your best to get by– home schooling is expensive even without factoring in your lost income!  It’s just not a possibility for everyone.  Because of that, we’ve put together a list of ten things you can do as a concerned parent to make sure your little love-sponge isn’t going to soak up all the horror that is public school. Continue reading

Candy Crush Saga, or Late Capitalism in Miniature

candycrush

Recently there’s been a lot of attention to King.com in leftist media, particularly to the company’s problematically pushy attempts to enforce its trademark over words like “candy” and “saga.”  Now as an avid player of Candy Crush, I find myself torn.  On the one hand, I’ve got a lot of free time on my hands; on the other hand, I’ve had a life-long intolerance for bullshit.

But I don’t want to focus on the wank/counterwank that is quibbling over trademark.  Instead, I’d like to investigate the idea that Candy Crush Saga itself is a wonderful model of late capitalism in miniature.

tiffi

Let’s set the stage: you are a hyper-infantilized little girl named Tiffi, traveling along a loopy and colorful path through a land seemingly born of that one night when Lisa Frank got drunk and had sex with a gummi bear.   Continue reading