Some call it the Turkish Star Wars. Others call it the worst movie ever made. Dünyayı Kurtaran Adam. The film, written by and starring Cüneyt Arkın, will literally blow your mind, though the reasons for which are clearer upon viewing. In our experience, it is much easier (and more rewarding) to watch this film with the aid of alcohol, so we’ve come up with a drinking game– play along at home!
Review: World/Inferno Friendship Society, World Cafe Live at the Queen, April 11, 2014
I’m gonna start my review by asking– what the fuck was this shit? It was a punk band, but they had a violin? People were moshing, but they were waltzing? This pale-ass guy asks the audience permission if he can remove his tie? I’ve been strung out on heroin before. I’ve dealt with some pretty wicked shit in my day. I’ve spoken the cursed the name of Nyarlathotep twice before, and I’ve never seen shit like this. It was lunacy, and not the cool Continue reading
Top Ten Folk Cures for AIDS
Since its introduction into Africa by the CIA in the late 1970s, HIV/AIDS has ravaged the continent and beyond, and the people of the world clamor for a cure. Thankfully, a handful of individuals and entrepreneurs are hard at work to find a cure, if only by trial and error. In this article, we highlight some of the most notable efforts.
10. Sex with a virgin
Contrary to popular belief, the idea of the restorative powers of virgin-sex are not an invention of “savage Africans” who “lack morals”; the myth likely is a colonial transplant from some of the most moralistic people of all times, the Victorians. The overall idea is that, to cleanse yourself of your vile infection, you need to wipe yourself off with something clean. That “something clean” being a person.
- (If consensual): Some good, clean fun.
- (If with a child): Not technically pederasty, since it’s not based on attraction to children.
- (If non-consensual): This is rape, a crime considered in many societies to be on par with murder.
- (If with a child): The phrase “not technically pederasty” should never be used to justify anything. Ever.
- Does not actually cure AIDS. In fact, it spreads HIV. Oh you damned, damned Victorians– how did you dream this up?
Review: The “Wake Up, Sheeple!” Alarm Clock
I don’t know about you, but after days and nights of stark raving madness brought on by a knowledge beyond man’s ken, I need some serious meds to sleep. We’re talking opiates, folks. And not just the opiate of the masses– hard drugs, administered to me by my manservant Chang Li. Continue reading