Drunk Texting International, July 6, 2014

us-uk

United States to England

12:56 A.M. UTC−05:00

hey!

 

kiribati-australia

Kiribati to Australia

1:27 a.m. UTC+14:00

global warning gettin me so wet can i come over???

 

brazil-earth

Brazil, re: ALL

2:12 a.m. UTC−03:00

FUTEBOL PARTY AT MINHA CASA LOOK AT MY BALLZ LMÃO

 

russia-ukraine

Russia to Ukraine

2:36 a.m. UTC+04:00

am comin over better lev door unlocked comin in anyway baby 😉

 

us-uk

United States to England

2:39 a.m. UTC−05:00

hey, soo…

 

us-uk

United States to England

2:41 A.M. UTC−05:00

hey, you up

 

us-uk

United States to England

2:45 A.M. UTC−05:00

listen, about what i said 238 years ago, i’m sorry

 

china-south-korea

China to South Korea

3:01 a.m. UTC+08:00

sorry kim was a bitch tonite we can do lunch tomorrow ^___^

 

jordan-israel

Jordan to Israel

3:07 a.m. UTC+03:00

omg neighbors STILL throwin a rager  might need to sleep at your place but like just as friends

 

argentina-england

Argentina to England

3:16 a.m. UTC−03:00

keepin las malvinas u left em here

 

india-england

India to England

3:32 a.m. UTC+05:30

chai in the morning?

 

uk-earth

England, re: ALL

3:34 a.m. UTC±00:00

AM TRYING TO SLEEP BUGGER OFF

 

canada-uk

Canada to England

3:40 a.m. UTC−05:00

sorry

 

south-korea-china

South Korea to China

3:48 a.m. UTC+09:00

lol just got a new phone didn’t see you.  that sounds great! ^____^

 

azerbaijan-armenia

Azerbaijan to Armenia

4:31 a.m. UTC+04:00

grudgə fuck?

 


My name is Adam, and I want you to be my Eve.

ADAM WEISHAUPT is a Professor of Law at the University of Ingolstadt.  His hobbies include rationalism, masonry, and opposition to Kantian idealism.

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Dear Cora: Letters for June 4, 2014

black heart

Dear Cora,

I know this is a stupid problem and plenty of people would be jealous, but I would do anything to put on some weight. It’s got me really depressed that I can’t, so I’ve been walking along the side of the same road every night for fifty years weeping. Seriously, I would love to have a little more substance to me– I hear that most guys couldn’t care less about the “thigh gap” and want a *real* woman!

Any thoughts?

Dolores Continue reading