13 Adorable Elder Gods You’ll Want to Summon for Summer

13. Hatthulhu

13-hatthulhu

This is the perfect summer accessory that really shows others why you are mumbling Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.

 the revolution will not be machine washable

12. Cthulhu Claus

12-cthulhuclause

Every November 1, Cthulhu Claus brings gifts of madness to good little boys, girls and cultists the world round.  But he could always come early this year!

death will come like a gift, swift in the night

11. Funsize Cthulhu

11-fununsizecthulhu

This is perfect for those cultists looking to keep their Elder God in their shirt pocket at all times.

close to your heart, within your heart, beyond your heart

10. Coon and Cthulhu and Friends

10-coon

Deep down, this Elder God just wants a little buddy– he can’t help it if that Eric Cartman is higher up on the evil scale.

beyond is only Nyarlathotep, and beyond Nyarlathotep is only madness

9. Hello Cthulhu

09-hellocth

This adorable Lord of Madness if perfect for those who love super cute Japanese cat anime and who are also into brutal misogyny.

 sanity was never yours to keep

8. Steampunk Cthulhu

08-steamcth

In case you love the Victorian Era and semi-modern, gear-decked gadgets, this if the Elder God for you.

he is older still than the stars

7. My Little Cthulhu

06-mylittlecth

Insanity is magic with this little tyke.

sorcery is his gift and curse 

6. Seussacthulhu

07-seusscth

You would like it in a padded cell.
You would like it very well.

deep inside your self-made hell

5. H. P. Yarncraft’s Knitthulhu

05-knitchthulu

With the ultimate, unknowable evil stitched into it very fiber, this Elder God is super cute and huggable.

the revolution will NOT be machine-washable 

4. Darth Cthulhu

04-darthcth

With a stunning show of the Force, this adorable Sith Lord will haunt your waking dreams.

the sith quake at my name

3. My Neighbor Cthulhu

03-neighbor-cthulhu

For all of those professors’ daughters out there who are looking for something a little darker than a woodland spirit, this option could prove appealing.

the trees shake at my name 

2. Chibithulhu

02-Chibithulhu

With a combination of eyes much too big for that tiny tentacled mass of the body and it soft, plush skin, Chibithulhu is as cuddleable as it is madness-inducing.

the wise ne’er spake my name

1. Catthulhu

01-catthulu

Let’s face it — the number one choice has it all. It’s cute. It’s furry. It’s tentacled. And it is a combination of the most evil, sadistic and mischievous things in the universe and an Elder God.

Nyarlathotep
Nyarlathotep
Nyarlathotep


thatcher

THOMAS ANTHONY THACHER is a professor of classics and administrative official at Yale and a high priest of Wadjet-Bast. While not deciphering ancient Greek, Latin, Egyptian and Coptic texts, he can be found at home, tending and breeding his Egyptian Mau cats.

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